Feeling better


Pic is of a late autumn Chapel Allerton tree.

It is surprising how good I feel. Happy and just a little bit high.  Still very emotional and opened-up.  Partly, I’m sure, because of the di-hydrocodeine, but not just that.

Perhaps I had been ‘down’ and irritable before the op because of the impairment from the arthritic hip.  All the objective facts of my life are the same but I remember often feeling unhappy and wondering why, considering all the good things.  Now it’s easier to see and appreciate it all- my comfortable home, enough resources to do everything I want to do, loads of lovely family and friends, my Mum still being here, happy and well looked-after, the delightful new babies, and the good man who is looking after me.  Looking at that list I see that the order needs to be exactly reversed to accurately identify what is most important.  Oddly, I often think in reverse like that when I’m writing.

I am so very grateful for the NHS, the wonderful staff and their expertise in delivering this great operation.  I’m so lucky and am grateful to have plenty of time for the gratitude!

Everything is getting better day by day.  This morning I managed to get up, washed, dressed, dry shampoo my hair and do my usual extensive beauty regime (a splash of cold water, a dab of moisturiser and a swipe of eyeliner) all by myself. A little triumph.

I wrote my first post-operative list this morning (anyone who knows me will appreciate how significant this is).  It was very modest and I have ticked half of it off already.  I wrote a couple of ‘fan’ messages, to the comedian Josie Long, and to the Young ‘Uns (folk singers).  Over the last week these people have provided me with chest-swelling amounts of inspiration and laughter. I thanked Josie for a stand-up set on BBC i-Player about politics and optimism, which included her pulling out and describing very beautifully one of my favourite books, Hope in the Dark, by one of my favourite writers, Rebecca Solnit.  I wrote to the Young ‘Uns on similar lines, about their new album Strangers, which is made up of lovely songs about ordinary everyday heroism, flying in the face of the cruel and divisive worldview currently being promoted by our ignorant and misguided ‘leaders’. That’s what I call a tonic.

I’m spending lots of time in bed because it’s so comfortable and nice here and I think it’s what I need to do during this acute healing phase.  I’m still moving about quite a lot- doing my exercises and going back and forth to the loo about every 2-3 hours (including at night).  I have been dressed and up every day, starting to make meals with Pete, watching the telly, etc, but I’m uncomfortable sitting in a chair at the moment- happier to be horizontal or propped up in bed, looking at the sky, the birds and squirrels and the autumn trees.

Bowels are working, pain is easing, really enjoying THINKING.  Great progress in a week and a day.

Blog is posted, third item ticked off the list.

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